Do People Die or Do They "Pass Away"?
Those who know me well are probably aware of my dislike of the phrase, "passed away" as a euphemism for death. The phrase originated in 15th century England in reference to superstitious notions surrounding the dead person’s soul during the wake or funeral. It was thought that the soul of the departed remained present to witness the mourning process until the funeral services were over. After that, the soul departed to heaven or hell, by “passing away.” Over time, it has become increasingly common to refer death as a “passing away.”
My long-time friend and colleague, Dr. Rod Rosenbladt, makes a compelling case that the phrase “passed away” is better suited to Mary Baker Eddy’s Christian Science than Christianity which sees death as a consequence of Adam’s fall. Convinced by Rod’s observation way back when, I too now urge Christians to cease using the phrase “passed away” and instead speak of “death.” As an avid reader of the local obituaries, since they reveal much about the current religious/theological spirit of the age, it is clear to me that for Christians the phrase "passed away” has replaced the grim reality of the curse; “so and so died.” The use of “pass away” is an evasion of the real issue--that death is brutal, ugly, and stems from human sin. Death is called “the curse,” and our last enemy. There is much wisdom in the biblical acknowledgement that there is indeed a time to weep, and the last thing I want to do when someone I know and loved dies, is “celebrate.” That is much better done at birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc.
One writer, Brian Jay Stanley, nails it as to why the phrase “passed away” fails to capture the reality of death:
The word "death" is a strong and solid word that does not blush or flinch, calling life's terminus by its first name, without apology. But most people euphemize death with the softer phrase "passed away". To pass away suggests a gentle and painless transition from one state to another, like chilled water passing imperceptibly into ice. Thereby words conceal from thoughts the horrors of violent accidents and the wracking agonies of terminal illness, as if everyone, instead of only a lucky few, died peacefully in his sleep. And where we peacefully pass is "away", a nebulous word that does not suggest a termination, but neither specifies a destination. It is a kind of leaving off, a gesture of open-endedness, an ellipsis at sentence's end. It is, accordingly, the perfect word for the skeptical yet sentimental modern mind, which cannot accept annihilation, nor easily believe in immortality. "Passed away" allows vague hope without dogma, as if to say, "He has gone somewhere else, please don't ask for details."
People die, they do not “pass away.”